I was on my way to work one morning and had rationed my time in a way that left no room for aberration – I hopped on the freeway, and lo and behold, I came to a screeching halt – traffic. An accident a few exits ahead had cars creeping along like an ant trail in slow motion. What the heck?! Traffic wasn’t in my morning plan! “It’s not the time of day for traffic,” I mumbled to myself. I noticed my body heat up, my impatience building, tension all along my spine. As I was stressing out, eying the clock as if my gaze controlled it, I wondered, how many times a day are we inconvenienced?
Life’s Inconveniences
April 13th, 2012Hypervigilance vs. Collapse
October 19th, 2010An important theme recently among my clients has been the vacillation between hypervigilance and collapse. How do these two states live in your body? Hypervigilance is often a state of anxiety, of production, of doing – being early or on time, accomplishing tasks for a deadline, making lists in your head of all the tasks you have to do, shutting off many parts of yourself in order to please a boss or appease a customer. In essence, it’s a results-oriented stance.
Various Foods to Nourish the Soul
October 19th, 2010
Over the last 13 years I have sat with women as clients and/or students and supported them to explore their relationship to food, their bodies, and themselves.
Although I started out my journey as a nutrition educator and holistic health counselor, I soon realized that most people’s struggles with food did not come from what they literally ate.
Why Would I Want Therapy?
August 3rd, 2010When I talk to friends and acquaintances about therapy, I often hear these comments. Do any of them sound familiar?
- “I can talk to my friends about my problems.”
- “Why would I talk to some stranger about my problems?!”
- “I’m not crazy.”
- “Therapy is cool for others, but not for me.”
- “The therapist is going to ‘psychoanalyze’ me.” (here, ‘psychoanalyze’ means to discover something I’m ashamed of)
- “The therapist is going to think I’m crazy.”
- “I am not in crisis.”
- “I don’t need therapy… It’s my husband/wife/boss/co-worker/fill-in-blank who needs to change!”
Structure of Knowing Money Exercise
June 6th, 2010As promised, here is an exercise taken from Maria Nemeth’s book, The Energy of Money. I invite you to explore this exercise in a calm and non-judgmental place, and give yourself some time just to free-associate. I’ve shortened it a bit, for space’s sake.
Your Structure of Knowing Money
On a poster-sized piece of paper, write the word “money” in the middle of the page. From there, start writing down your associations with this word. Do this by drawing lines moving outward from the word “money.” An association is any word or phrase that pops into your mind when you think of money. (This mind-mapping technique was developed by a writer named Gabriele Rico).
Money Issues!
June 5th, 2010
If you live in this society, you have some relationship to money, so this month’s topic is the dreaded MONEY ISSUE!
Do you save? Do you spend? Do you binge spend? Do you have a hard time spending money on yourself? Do you have a hard time spending money on others? Do you always think there is never enough? Where do you spend your money? Is it in line with what you value? Do you follow your money meticulously? Or do you bury your head in the sand, hoping that your account isn’t withdrawn? Just thinking about these questions makes me feel like this guy in the photo!
The Practice of Journaling
May 4th, 2010
I was debating what to cover this month, and what repeatedly kept getting my attention was the practice of journaling.
Journaling is a great tool in conjunction with psychotherapy. Why? Because there are a lot of thoughts floating around in your head. The practice of writing them down can be very freeing as well as clarifying.
Let me be clear – journaling is not a diary of the day’s events, although it can be. It is not scrapbooking either, although there can also be that component if that’s a medium you like. Journaling is bringing focus to specific issues, thoughts, and feelings that need some space and attention.
Faith and Forgiveness
April 10th, 2010
I want to continue the discussion on faith from last month, since it seems to still be gripping me in some way. Faith is about knowing you’re not doomed by your past mistakes. I’d like to share a quote with you, “You are not punished FOR your mistakes, but BY your mistakes.”
Faith As A Verb
March 1st, 2010
Today I’m tackling a fascinating topic – and that is, the topic of faith. I’m not talking here about a religious or spiritual affiliation, but understanding that what you put into therapy is working on your behalf.
I bring it up because it’s easy to lose faith in the therapy process at times – healing is not linear; often things get worse before they get better; and the therapy process can seem mysterious in its ways of working. So while we’re in the midst of it all, it’s useful to cultivate a sense of hope and faith. Things will get better.
Goal-Setting for the New Year
January 15th, 2010Happy New Year! I wish all of you a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010. I know new years can be full of resolutions, goals, and new starts, but only a select few end up keeping their resolutions. Why is that?
Intellectually, we know what we want to change (our relationships, addictions, weight, etc.) but until we DO something different, all the insight in the world won’t help. Often our resolutions are unrealistic, or too myopic. Plus our feelings of worthiness – or lack thereof – often derail us.
