Holistic Gardner

When I talk to friends and acquaintances about therapy, I often hear these comments. Do any of them sound familiar?

As promised, here is an exercise taken from Maria Nemeth’s book, The Energy of Money. I invite you to explore this exercise in a calm and non-judgmental place, and give yourself some time just to free-associate. I’ve shortened it a bit, for space’s sake.

Your Structure of Knowing Money

On a poster-sized piece of paper, write the word “money” in the middle of the page. From there, start writing down your associations with this word. Do this by drawing lines moving outward from the word “money.” An association is any word or phrase that pops into your mind when you think of money. (This mind-mapping technique was developed by a writer named Gabriele Rico).

If you live in this society, you have some relationship to money, so this month’s topic is the dreaded MONEY ISSUE!

Do you save? Do you spend? Do you binge spend? Do you have a hard time spending money on yourself? Do you have a hard time spending money on others? Do you always think there is never enough? Where do you spend your money? Is it in line with what you value? Do you follow your money meticulously? Or do you bury your head in the sand, hoping that your account isn’t withdrawn? Just thinking about these questions makes me feel like this guy in the photo!

I was debating what to cover this month, and what repeatedly kept getting my attention was the practice of journaling.

Journaling is a great tool in conjunction with psychotherapy. Why? Because there are a lot of thoughts floating around in your head. The practice of writing them down can be very freeing as well as clarifying.

Let me be clear – journaling is not a diary of the day’s events, although it can be. It is not scrapbooking either, although there can also be that component if that’s a medium you like. Journaling is bringing focus to specific issues, thoughts, and feelings that need some space and attention.

I want to continue the discussion on faith from last month, since it seems to still be gripping me in some way. Faith is about knowing you’re not doomed by your past mistakes. I’d like to share a quote with you, “You are not punished FOR your mistakes, but BY your mistakes.”

Today I’m tackling a fascinating topic – and that is, the topic of faith. I’m not talking here about a religious or spiritual affiliation, but understanding that what you put into therapy is working on your behalf.

I bring it up because it’s easy to lose faith in the therapy process at times – healing is not linear; often things get worse before they get better; and the therapy process can seem mysterious in its ways of working. So while we’re in the midst of it all, it’s useful to cultivate a sense of hope and faith. Things will get better.

Happy New Year! I wish all of you a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010. I know new years can be full of resolutions, goals, and new starts, but only a select few end up keeping their resolutions. Why is that?

Intellectually, we know what we want to change (our relationships, addictions, weight, etc.) but until we DO something different, all the insight in the world won’t help. Often our resolutions are unrealistic, or too myopic. Plus our feelings of worthiness – or lack thereof – often derail us.

The psyche communicates on different stations, like a radio.

I often get the question from potential clients, “What is holistic psychotherapy, anyway?”

My New York aunt insists that in New York, the word ‘holistic’ would not get me very far – there’s this perception that the translation of ‘holistic’ equals California crunchy-oat-bread-with-sprouts-and-avocado-eating, Birkenstocks-wearing, lefty-communist protesters… Or some such comparison. Maybe they think we’re all driving around in ‘68 VW Bugs hugging trees and singing Kumbaya.

Texas roadside attraction

Today’s topic is about expectations. Conflicting views arise – one belief is that we need expectations so that we and others are accountable. The other belief is a more Buddhist perspective about letting go of our expectations to alleviate suffering. What is the deal with expectations, anyway?

Highs and Lows

First, we must remember that having low expectations and having high expectations are still both forms of having expectations. Studies show that students whose teachers have low expectations of them perform at a lower level. Students whose teachers have high expectations of them perform at a higher level. In this regard, believing in peoples’ abilities and having high expectations of them allows them to see themselves in a positive light.

Recently I watched Caroline Myss’ “Energetics of Healing” DVD. Myss is most known for her book Anatomy of the Spirit, and is renowned as one of the first practitioners to pull the mind, body, and spirit together and reach the masses.

In this DVD, her premise is that we have a set amount of energy coming from the Source to us everyday that is managed through energetic chakra centers. Each chakra manages a specific category of information. Good management of the chakras leads to well-being and equilibrium in your daily functioning, whereas poor management results in energy “leaks” that drain cells of life force and leave us depleted, tired, unhappy, with low self-esteem, and with unbalanced relationships. Taken to an extreme, these “leaks” lead to  illness  and disease.